Month: January 2019

Don’t regret the child you don’t have- celebrate the child you DO have

I read a post this morning on Facebook that made me need to write again.  It happens periodically, I say I don’t have time/energy to write again until something lights a fire under me (figuratively) and I sit down at the computer.

Here is the image that was posted by an OT page on Facebook:

commas
image is a grey background with white words which read, “Developmental delays are commas, not periods.  Your child can still get there.”

Now, I do get what the intended meaning is here.  So many parents are worried about their child’s developmental “delays” (I really have a lot of feelings about this, can you tell?) and they fixate on the many developmental markers that have been decided make up a typical child. They worry that their kid isn’t “normal” (yuck) and unfortunately all of those feelings are not only felt by some many parents, but their kids too.  Your children can hear you talk about them.  

Hold the phone, sister.  Pull up a chair and sit down, Mama’s got something to say to you.

In all of that fixation on the missing of developmental stages along the way, have you noticed how incredible your kid is? Have you seen the way your child watches light move through trees?  Have you heard your beautiful offspring wax poetic on the subject of a particular species of insect that lives only in Burma? Have you seen just how much love and joy is in their eyes when they see you?  Have you noticed how they are with their friends and siblings?

I would like to backtrack to the word “delay”.  Who decided that certain traits at certain ages make a kid typical, anyway?  What about every person in their own time?

All I’m saying is stop focusing on the damn commas and periods and developmental markers and whether or not a person is reaching them at the same time as everyone else.  You’re missing the magic and beauty and messiness of life, sweetheart.  Your child will get…wherever they get, whether that is “there” (per the image above) or somewhere else.  And you know what?  That’s fantastic!  It’s brilliant!

It’s about time to celebrate the child you have, rather than regret the one that you thought you’d get.

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